Thursday 14 February 2008

Be Kind, Rewind. Then Get Sweding.

Be Kind, Rewind is the burgeoning movie picture event that has excited me more than all others these past few months. Michel Gondry, Jack Black, Ghostbusters, Robocop, an inventive and inspiring story... This should well be the shiznit. Its primary narrative device is the act of Sweding.

For those unitiated; to Swede something - ideally a favourite movie of yours - is to re-imagine it in a cheap, brief and nonchalant manner. However, it must be funny and imbued with a creative grá for the story. And you have to be in it. Need an example of a Sweded piece? Observe Michel Gondry Sweding the trailer to this very movie. The man is one freaky genius:

Brilliant stuff. Most achievable too. Which is a good thing as Filmbase are currently running a very cool competition in conjunction with Pathé, Darklight Film Festival, Eclipse Pictures and the Irish Film Board... Basically, a rather magnificent prize awaits the person(s) who makes the best Sweded version of a classic Irish movie. Details of entry are available here.

It may not be a classic, Irish, a favourite of mine, or actually even made yet, but I have already written the screenplay for the ultimate Transformers 2 Swede. Here it goes:

INT - A Large Room.

A young man in his early twenties walks into a large room. He is rather inexplicably wearing a Saw Doctors t-shirt. He walks over to a wall in the room. There is a large sheet of plywood leaning against this wall. It has been painted neon green. He coughs politely. He looks around the cavernous room.

(Considerable Pause)

The young man continues to look around the room. He seems nervous and confused. This confusion is probably brought about by a complete lack of narrative structure. Slowly and with considerable embarrassment, he begins to touch himself through a hole in one of his pockets. His efforts continue for roughly two minutes before he breaks down in tears. He is an empty shell and he knows it. Devoid, meaningless.


Wow. I'm actually not quite sure how this became a jibe at Michael Bay. I fully realise that I should not despise his films so. Each to their own and all that jazz. Yet their spurious venom swims in my blood now. Their needless CGI embellished explosions springing forth minute bubble after bubble. Incessant. Frightening.

Are you still here? Why aren't you Sweding?

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