Tuesday 8 January 2008

Rathmines... The Funniest Place On Earth!

My word, how sincerely do I jest.

What in the name of Jehovah was that? Seriously RTÉ, what did we license payers do to be yet again afflicted with such a monstrosity? In case you did not see it last night, The Roaring Twenties, the latest shitcom that you paid for, is every bit as appalling as that bizarre trailer suggested.

Derivative and lazy muck, bereft of even a sliver of originality... When a main character in a sitcom is described as a business student who plays tag rugby - and that's intended as a punchline - then you know difficulties are imminent.

And yet, as spectacularly woeful and all as it is, I must say that I find the broadcasting of The Roaring Twenties oddly inspiring. If that can get made, then anything can... I'm actually working on a treatment for a new sitcom as I type.

It shall be called "Chuggers" and it will be set on Grafton Street. And in Rathmines, obviously. It will be about a group of twenty-something chuggers who live in a crappy Rathmines bedsit and spend their days annoying strangers on Grafters; thereby making them as likeable as those Twenties gits. There will be witticisms galore as an enraged public continuously tell them to piss off. There will be unlimited pathos - a post-Gervais comic necessity - as the gang fester in self-loathing and denial over a shared pint of Erdinger down their local. There shall even be elements of slapstick as Timmy Midlands (our main protagonist) berates the wrong Northsider on a particularly rainy day near the Green... Oh, the myriad chuckles presented by Timmy finding himself unable to move properly in a cast! Such a fresh and untapped comic resource that!

All I'll need is a budget similar to that of The Roaring Twenties: a moist packet of Tic-Tacs and the thumbs up from a dyslexic tramp. Heady times.

Just one last question of you then RTÉ... Why? Why did you make me lie on New Years Eve? I told everybody it was going to be a happy new year. Now it's already a write-off. Roll on 2009.


the man responsible said...

Thank you for such a well written comment about my show. As the writer and co-director I take full responsibilty and I accept it with pleasure. And just for the record I've made about a good months wages out of these two episodes and that is all - coz since you have not made an hour of TV before you'll quickly realise that it costs an absolute fortune to pay pro actors and pro crew. An absolute fortune --- in fact it eats up all the budget entirely. Sorry you didn't like, perhaps you can do better with ''Chuggers''. I will await it with pen sharpened.

John Cav said...

Man Responsible: You're right, I've not directed an hour of television before. However, I have worked on a few television shows and am completely aware of the costs entailed when dealing with professionals. The budget will certainly evaporate. A twisted pisser.

As it happens, that Tic-Tac jibe was directed solely at RTÉ and how they continually attempt things on the cheap. Not at yourself. Apologies, I should have made that one clearer.

I just didn't like the script. I found it unwieldy and confused, attempting to grab too firmly onto the zeitgeist whilst forgetting empathy and character development... Also, that smoking ban joke was a bit late in the coming don't ya think?

Ultimately sir, it's nothing personal. My blog, my opinion. Also, if "Chuggers" was ever to make it onto the screen - an unlikely scenario really - then surely you would judge it purely on its own merit... That's all I did here, albeit with something of an excessive idiom.

Sorry if that annoyed you.

Joe said...

Don't sit on the fence John, tell us what you really think.

To be fair to the makers of the show I've seen them on several websites gauging the reaction to the show and have taken the (sometimes quite vitriolic) criticism well.

Having not seen the show I can't comment, but in a way I look forward to when RTE host it online as they did with Dan and Becs just to see if it deserves such scorn (I refuse to believe anything can truly rival 'The English Class' in terms of woeful comedy)

John Cav said...

Joe: Not one for the fence my friend. Unless surrounded by drunken friends with shovels and a beheaded iguana in Bunratty.

And you're right, "The English Class" was mesmeric in its spurious incompetence.


Flirty Something said...

Really gutted about the show as had great potential but for some reason it just didn't gel. Real shame but hopefully is just a slow burner and may improve.

Markham said...

Suggest ditching Chuggers for 'Chugfights' - along the lines of Bumfights in the US, in which you agree to sign up with the Concern chugger ONLY if he'll walk down the street and beat the living shit out of the Enable Ireland chugger while you film it.

Controversy = ratings. Profits (after my cut) to charity, everyone's a winner, etc.

Becs said...

I think you might be on to a good one with "chuggers" john. Although I think it should actually be a quiz show where they all have to compete with each other by demonstrating their levels of smugness and ability to guilt trip from 300 yards whilst maintaining the lie to the public that they are volunteers and have invisible halos. The final round would be a massive turnaround that would involve them actually having to do some real charity work in a soup kitchen type environment, FOR FREE. The first one of them to run away from the homeless people wins.

slurkid57 said...

Man Responsible: Some blogger writes a bad review of your show, and you reply with that playground classic: Yeah? Well I'd like you see you do better.

Hooray for web 2.0!

DJ Eurovision said...

Huzzah! The slur man doth striketh!

John Cav said...

Flirty: Hopefully indeed, although to survive beyond its run of two shoes its improvement would want to be fairly rapid.

Markham: "Chugfights" is a pitch of sheer genius sir. It could be used to spice up the jaded RTE People In Need Telethon format next year. Thoughts? I ain't wanting to be presumptuous though, as it is your baby!

Becs: As with "Chugfights"... A stirling idea. However, I think the first chugger to treat a homeless person like an ACTUAL HUMAN BEING should also be in the running for something! Do I expect too much?

Slurkid: "And then a hero comes along..."

DJ Eurovision: Erm... You're funny.

slurkid57 said...

No John, the only real hero here is you...

and Eurovision, Becs, Markham, Flirty, Joe, the man responsible, and me. Especially me, because I do a lot of work for charity.

tom crean said...

awful shite.shite acting. shite script...you tell em jonh...shite..

Cazzawaw said...

Man responsible... You consider those actors "Pros"? I've seen better actors in parish Pantomimes.

As for the waaah waaah waaah of "could you do better?" I couldn't do any worse than the pile of muck you created, pal.