Saturday 22 December 2007

The Book Of Wrong

You may be already aware of The Book Of Wrong, a work otherwise known as Irish Love and Marriage Jokes by Des MacHale. If not, allow me to present you with a choice selection of the witticisms from this peculiar tome from the year of some folks' lord 1977 AD:

An Irishman has been defined as somebody who would trample over twelve naked women to reach a bottle of Guinness.

Definition of an Irish queer - Somebody who prefers women to drink.

Bridget had twenty children.
"You must love children a lot," a friend remarked.
"Love them?" said Bridget, "I don't even know half of them."

"He was a good husband to me," sobbed Bridget after Pat had died, "he always hit me with the soft end of the mop."

Definition of an Irish gentleman - One who never strikes a lady without provocation.

Pat was telling Bridget off because of the size of the household bills.
"Look at this gas bill," he roared, "you and your unsuccessful suicide attempts!"

Well holy God there Des, but racist stereotypes, homophobia, blatant misogyny, and a mockery of suicide and depression thrown into the pot... Aren't you a grand ould laugh all the same, a mhac!

"Different times". Total arsehole.


slurkid57 said...

Holy shit batman, I had Des for several maths classes when I was in UCC. His big thing is algebra and group theory type stuff, but he also came up with a formula for what makes a joke funny.

He's actually a nice guy in person, just not very funny. (funny ha-ha)

John Cav said...

Slurkid: Sums or no sums, that formula simply does not work!

See ya later for a scoop or two by the way.