Tuesday 13 November 2007

Lewis Hamilton - My Book


Lewis Hamilton... You know the guy... He's that British young lad who is good at driving incredibly quick cars incredibly quickly. His autobiography has just been released. It is entitled Lewis Hamilton: My Story. Now, for any of you who may be eager to read this story, I have a nice surprise. Below lies the complete transcript of Lewis' tome, utterly verbatim. Bask in the intoxicating relevance of it all:


Chapter One:

I'm very young. I'm really good at driving go-karts quickly. I'm not famous.

Chapter Two:

I'm still young. I'm really good at driving F1 cars quickly. I'm quite famous.


Chapter Three:

Erm... I've been famous for less than a year now. Still driving the same car.

Chapter Four:

I had somebody ghost write my book. You bought it.


Seriously, Lewis Hamilton is 22. He is good at one thing, which he has been doing at the highest level for barely twelve months. What's more, the team he was driving for have been stripped of all their championship points for the year and fined close to $100 million because they were fucking cheating! Lewis achieved what he did whilst he was driving a car designed by cheats. Wow! Lewis Hamilton, you're my hero!

I just do not see what gives this guttersnipe the right to burden us with his twelve month story. At most there is enough there to fill a generous and picture laden pamphlet... Something to distract you while you sit in your doctor's waiting room, hoping to find out just what that odd rash on your elbow actually is.

"I wonder what cream I'll need for this... Seriously, why is that pregnant woman staring at me with eyes as twisted as Dante's inner circle... Oh look, Lewis finished in the top three in some race. Again. He's amazing!"

Bah humbug.

66 comments:

Anonymous said...

I couldn't agree more. He should at least have the decency to crash a few times, punch a few other drivers for doing something he didn't like, and maybe develop some manner of addiction or get caught with some coke-snorting hookers or something before foisting this upon us.

slurkid57 said...

Don't get me started on F1: how can cars going that fast be so boring? Seriously, it's just round and round and round and round.

WRC cars going at, like, 60mph are way more exciting, thanks to some nice tight turns on REAL ROADS, or even a big fucking drop on one side. Unfortunately, because there's no girls in bikinis or all that other shit that's nothing to do with ACTUAL FUCKING RACING, people just don't care about it.

What really gets my goat is the people who pay a fortune to some scalper so they can sit in some grand-stand and watch the things whiz by every few minutes, and then go on and on about it when they get back. Like I'm supposed to be impressed by their ability to spend a fortune to go to some cool foreign city, and then sit patiently in a plastic seat for a few hours, watching things go round in circles, before coming straight back to fucking Blighty/Ireland. (delete as appropriate)

Aaagh, I appear to have gotten started on F1 - the rest of the day's going to be painful for me and everyone I meet.

slurkid57 said...

Also, this is totally un-related, but I want to post this somewhere where I have a relative amount of anonymity.

Today I have been marking assignments for an M.Sc. course.

I work in what is, supposedly, one of the top universities in the UK, and the students should represent the best and the brightest the world has to offer. Well maybe not the best & brightest, but at least, they're grown adults with a third level education.

At the end of the assignment description there is the following instruction for students submitting their work:

"Your gzipped tar file should be called assign9_exam_no.tar.gz, where exam_no is your exam number"

So I logged on this morning and took a look in the directory where the submitted assignments are stored. Of course, someone had submitted their work in a file named "assign9_exam_no.tar.gz".

Jesus wept.

John Cav said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John Cav said...

Anonymous: Give the young fella time :)

Slurkid: Spleen utterly vented there sir, and I could not agree more. F1 is a big pile of herpes ridden cock.

As for your stupid student, I can but sympathise. I do remember helping a mutual friend correct Junior Cert history mock exams... An example of the amazing ineptitude of some of the kids:

"Name one country involved in World War II."

"Irack."

Fuck. Me.

slurkid57 said...

Smart kid.

In January 1943, under the terms of the 1930 Anglo-Iraqi Treaty, Iraq declared war on the Axis powers.

John Cav said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John Cav said...

Slurkid: Quite true dude, but I'm guessing this kid wasn't aware of that fact. Another question answered by him:

"Name one of the factors that brought about the beginning of World War II."

"Oil, and Saddam killing people."

Jesus wept. I laughed.

slurkid57 said...

Welcome to the No Spin Zone!

Ronan Casey said...

Lewis Hamilton is nothing more than a skin headed Mongolian clusterfuck!

slurkid57 said...

Ronan Casey: fists of steel and the tortured soul of a poet.

Anonymous said...

Discount RX Pharmacy - Cialis, Viagra, Levitra, Tamiflu. Get Cheap Medication online. Buy Pills Central.
[url=http://buypillscentral.com/buy-generic-brand-levitra-online.html]Discount Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, Tamiflu Drugstore without prescription[/url]. canadian generic drugs. Top quality pills pharmacy

Anonymous said...

But still, there are proficiently known companies which merit good words and created an excuse cheap Cialis now reputation.

Anonymous said...

When you body Cialis or some other meds in our research you may be reliable Discount Cialis Pharmacy Online that this product single of first-rate standing will be delivered to you systematically in time.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://sunkomutors.net/][img]http://sunkomutors.net/img-add/euro2.jpg[/img][/url]
[b]cheapest software, [url=http://sunkomutors.net/]buy adobe acrobat software[/url]
[url=http://sunkomutors.net/][/url] hacking software for sale ftp software downloads
Adobe Macromedia Apple [url=http://sunkomutors.net/]i buy photoshop in[/url] nero 9 patch
[url=http://sunkomutors.net/]winzip 12 crack[/url] office student software
[url=http://sunkomutors.net/]free software like adobe[/url] office enterprise 2007 key
i lost my microsoft office 2003 product key [url=http://sunkomutors.net/]microsoft publishing software[/b]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://community.bsu.edu/members/buy+online+Viagra.aspx]Viagra without dr[/url]

Anonymous said...

hi, how are you? synthroid online [url=http://dotnet.org.za/members/cheap-synthroid-online.aspx]cheap synthroid[/url] http://dotnet.org.za/members/cheap-synthroid-online.aspx online

Anonymous said...

いち、に、さん [url=http://ci2s.org/viagura.htm]バイアグラ 個人輸入[/url] バイアグラ 個人輸入

Anonymous said...

Ich entschuldige mich, aber meiner Meinung nach lassen Sie den Fehler zu. Ich kann die Position verteidigen. Schreiben Sie mir in PM, wir werden reden. cialis preiswert cialis online [url=http//t7-isis.org]cialis rezeptfrei[/url]

Anonymous said...

good health for you
[url=http://bjwsutw.q.gp/57/index.html]ladies in mature v[/url]
[url=http://bheedyy.kilu.org/46/map.html]gx anime gi map E[/url]
[url=http://bjwsutw.q.gp/44/map.html]jennys masturbation.jp md map 283[/url]
[url=http://bheqmuf.quests.eu/45/map.html]lodoss ova anime map o[/url]
[url=http://biuassw.xpf.de/58/index.html]funny picture adult w[/url]
[url=http://bhvetmt.beeinflusst.de/73/index.html]megazone anime 23 e[/url]
[url=http://bdimuel.unprecedented.de/35/index.html]4 ever anime z[/url]


See you soon

Anonymous said...

Good morning
[url=http://corjogo.xn--nht-qla.de/41/index.html]score american credit n[/url]
[url=http://chewinggum.hostaim.com/45/map.html]ricci pictures christina map d[/url]
[url=http://cgeluio.nahezu.de/35/map.html]credit mortgage bad map e[/url]
[url=http://enhancements.rack111.com/41/map.html] brite illuminations map F[/url]
[url=http://enhancements.rack111.com/39/index.html]box model brite n[/url]
[url=http://worcester.avafreehost.com/64/map.html]avandia gas and y[/url]
[url=http://stomach.rack111.com/calcium/72/map.html]review carbozyne map t[/url]


See you soon

Anonymous said...

http://markonzo.edu http://www.netknowledgenow.com/members/prevacid-side-effects.aspx http://blog.bakililar.az/norvasc/ http://aviary.com/artists/Synthroid-oral http://www.hugthecloud.com/profiles/blogs/aldactone-for-acne wajcman ploughshares

Anonymous said...

Hello! Excellent site, keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

I usually don't post in blogs but your blog forced me to, amazing work.. beautiful !
Buy Ultram Online

Anonymous said...

Hello. You have uber cool blog. I really like this theme.
Buy Soma Online

Anonymous said...

Generally I do not post on blogs, but I would like to say that this post really forced me to do so! really nice post.
Buy Ultram Online

Anonymous said...

You own a very interesting blog covering lots of topics I am interested as well.I just added your site to my favorites so I can read more in the future... Please continue your marvellous work!
Buy Tramadol Canadian Pharmacy

Anonymous said...

Hi there, I found your blog via Google blogsearch and your post looks very interesting for me.
Buy Ultram Online

Anonymous said...

Hello, I think this is the coollest blog I`ve seen. I really like your theme.
Buy Cialis Online

Anonymous said...

Hello, I think this is the coollest blog I`ve seen. I really like your theme.
Order Cheap Levitra

Anonymous said...

Hello, I think this is the coollest blog I`ve seen. I really like your theme.
Tramadol Buy Online

Anonymous said...

Hello, your blog is uber cool. Congrats!
Order Cheap Tramadol

Poker said...

I wonder how you got so nice content. This is really a fascinating blog and all your posts are awesome, lots of stuff that I can get into. One thing I just want to say is that your Blog is so perfect to me.
--------------------------
Our www: Holdem Poker Beginner & No Deposit Poker Bonuses & Poker No Deposit Bankroll

Poker said...

I am very much pleased today. I enjoyed every little bit part of it and I will be waiting for the new updates.
--------------------------
My web: Bonus senza deposito & Poker senza deposito online

Instant Poker Bonus said...

This article is material that is absorbing and interesting. The points made here are original.
--------------------------
Site: Free Bankrolls for Poker Bonuses for Poker rooms.

Anonymous said...

dating young sexy fat girl http://loveepicentre.com/ special needs dating service

Anonymous said...

Instant Online Payday Loans http://2applyforcash.com coodabriplila Payday Loans Genceta [url=http://2applyforcash.com/]payday loans online[/url] Instant Payday Loans From handling customer support, dealing with america, checking out the power from the empower network for your self.

Anonymous said...

Payday Loans Online Lenders http://www.2applyforcash.com/ coodabriplila Payday Loans Genceta [url=http://www.2applyforcash.com]payday loans[/url] Payday Loans Online No Credit Check How are you supposed to know which work.You're probably wondering what your product played with skill and discipline..

Anonymous said...

http://www.virtual-server.co.il/node/54213 coodabriplila [url=http://www.endoflifeinsights.com/professionaldevelopment/?q=blog/ahmedghaziani/17-jan-2013/8088]start a business for $1000[/url] Genceta businesses to start with 1000

Anonymous said...

[url=http://loveepicentre.com/success_stories.php][img]http://loveepicentre.com/uploades/photos/9.jpg[/img][/url]
dating site maine [url=http://loveepicentre.com/faq.php]free dating in mumbai[/url] free dating tauranga
dating sites 2009 [url=http://loveepicentre.com/advice.php]keokuk iowa dating[/url] dating asian usa
poland dating sites [url=http://loveepicentre.com/faq.php]dating site single free search 20[/url] commercial adult dating games

Anonymous said...

divorced dating http://loveepicentre.com/articles.php daddy's rules for dating my daughter

Anonymous said...

free ebook for children australia http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/Where-There-Is-No-Psychiatrist-A-Mental-Health-Care-Manual/p223203/ ebook software online free ebook inside the ibm pc return of the king ebook

Anonymous said...

sql 101 ebook http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/de/A-Discovery-of-Witches/p29166/ convert for sony ebook [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/fr/Voice-User-Interface-Design/p104784/]standard ebook foramt[/url] ebook michael porter download

Anonymous said...

chaosbound ebook torrent http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/Anatomy-of-Flowering-Plants-An-Introduction-to-Structure-and-Development/p217543/ index computer ebook ebook recipes ebooks [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/de/Principles-of-Database-and-Knowledge-Base-Systems-Classical-Database-Systems/p218364/]structural timber design and technology ebook[/url] ebook hulu

Anonymous said...

georgia tech custom ebook http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/Pierce-Wetter/m101414/ free ebook pdf html [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/fr/Africa-An-Encyclopedia-for-Students-Sadat-Zulu-and-Index/p105954/]r4 ebook reader[/url] ebook newsweek magazine

Anonymous said...

fabulosity ebook http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/es/Dennis-P-Sugrue/m29249/ ebook of system programming [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/fr/The-Data-Access-Handbook-Achieving-Optimal-Database-Application-Performance-and-Scalability/p197706/]diana hacker rules for writer ebook[/url] guided meditation script ebook

Anonymous said...

self improvement ebook http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/Advances-in-Electronics-and-Electron-Phisics-Vol-73/p218814/ harcourt math ebook student edition [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/Adobe-Photoshop-CS2-One-Click-Wow/p217097/]syllabus design nunan rapidshare ebook[/url] where to download ebook

Anonymous said...

menu planner software http://buyoem.co.uk/product-36146/Masters-ITC-Scanitto-Pro-2-8 overclocking software for p965t-a v1.0b [url=http://buyoem.co.uk/it/category-1/Sisteme-Operative]taxcut faulty bad software[/url] bid watch software
[url=http://buyoem.co.uk/category-100-104/Software-Plugins?page=5]Software Plugins - Software Store[/url] simple version control software for c
[url=http://buyoem.co.uk/de/product-36960/FileMaker-Pro-Advanced-11-0][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/8.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

os x software http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/de/product-10388/Microsoft-Office-2004-Professional-Mac bmm document management software [url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/news-16/Windows-7-Six-flavours-to-choose-from]maxtor external hard drive software[/url] computer rental computer rental software computer
[url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/category-100-104/Software-Plugins?page=16]Software Plugins - Software Store[/url] gps software for motorola i
[url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/product-37313/Ultra-Flash-Video-FLV-Converter-3-0][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/8.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

side side ftp software comparison http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/product-35469/Longtion-Software-AutoRun-Pro-Enterprise-II-5-0 best modeling software [url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/it/category-5/Diagnostica-di-PC?page=3]medical pda software palm programming[/url] gantt software
[url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/es/product-30956/Adobe-Fireworks-CS5]Adobe Fireworks CS5 - Cheap Legal OEM Software, Software Sale, Download OEM[/url] shelby church software price
[url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/de/category-4/Software-Plugins?page=16][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/1.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

dvd hd player software http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/es/product-31542/Aquatint-1-1-MAC panasonic rr-us320 software [url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/product-36430/Benthic-Software-PLEdit-6-0]simple video animation software[/url] adobe in design cs software
[url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/es/product-34608/Adobe-Creative-Suite-5-5-Master-Collection-MAC]Adobe Creative Suite 5.5 Master Collection MAC - Cheap Legal OEM Software, Software Sale, Download OEM[/url] teaching software for golf professionals
[url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/es/product-35539/HistoryHound-1-9-MacOSX][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/6.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

mcafee anti virus software download http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/de/category-100-106/Server-Software?page=2 zipcode plotting software [url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/de/product-37114/Eltima-SWF-FLV-Toolbox-3-5]dvd cloning software dvd shrink[/url] wi-fi finder software
[url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/product-15305/ForkLift-1-1-Mac]ForkLift 1.1 [Mac] - Download OEM, Software Sale, OEM Software[/url] bp cirrus consequence modelling software
[url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/es/product-36916/TuneUp-Utilities-2012-12-0][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/8.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

adobe acrobat reader free software http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/fr/product-13705/Microsoft-Office-Visio-Professional-2007 soccer referee scorekeeping software pda [url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/product-37090/BurnAware-Professional-Portable-3-3-Multilingual]bluetooth software suite[/url] techstream software
[url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/product-14003/GyazMail-1-5-Mac]GyazMail 1.5 [Mac] - Cheap Legal OEM Software, Software Sale, Download OEM[/url] best writer software most popular
[url=http://buyoemsoftware.co.uk/product-36625/MailStore-Server-5-2][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/5.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

metropcs utstarcom 7126 software http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/product-33529/Artizen-Dramatic-3-0-for-Photoshop-x32 act software for financial planners agents [url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/fr/product-20448/DVDinfoPro-5-2]word processor free software[/url] where to find free aol software
[url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/product-36577/Microsoft-Windows-7-Ultimate-x32-Arabic]Microsoft Windows 7 Ultimate x32 Arabic - Software Store[/url] gr dx100 software drivers
[url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/de/product-18302/Bookdog-Mac][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/2.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...



My homepage web page

Anonymous said...



My weblog webpage

Anonymous said...



Also visit my page :: webpage

Anonymous said...

[url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/frozen--energy-and-libido-enhancer-.htm][img]http://onlinemedistore.com/7.jpg[/img][/url]
us licensed pharmacy http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/femcare.htm mayo clinic rochester pharmacy [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/kamasutra-ribbed-condoms.htm]medical arts pharmacy conyers[/url]
pharmacy benefit design http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/female-viagra.htm canada pharmacy celexa [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/luvox.htm]luvox[/url]
cvs pharmacy generic drugs http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/lipitor.htm publix pharmacy dallas hwy marietta ga [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/categories/female-enhancement.htm]worldwide pharmacy steroids[/url]
usd pharmacy show vip consultation http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/bupropion.htm massachusetts pharmacy preceptor application form [url=http://englandpharmacy.co.uk/products/arimidex.htm]arimidex[/url]

Anonymous said...

I was able to find good advice from your content.


Feel free to surf to my website :: Voucher Codes

Anonymous said...

dating ministries http://loveepicentre.com/faq/ how to beat naruto dating sim
married man dating a married woman [url=http://loveepicentre.com/contact/]free canadian dating websites[/url] pun rock speed dating
wenatchee washington singles free dating [url=http://loveepicentre.com/map/]oklahoma city dating[/url] danity kane dawn dating q [url=http://loveepicentre.com/user/ball245/]ball245[/url] absolutly free dating services

Anonymous said...

mystery's dating system http://loveepicentre.com/ indianapolis dating clubs
bondage dating [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]feminine guys dating sites[/url] online catholic dating
ipswich dating [url=http://loveepicentre.com/advice/]dating free game online simulation[/url] dating people from work [url=http://loveepicentre.com/user/ho262000/]ho262000[/url] daughter dating older boy

Anonymous said...

greg bodin dating http://loveepicentre.com/ 100 free internet dating from
women looking for men for dating [url=http://loveepicentre.com/map/]hutchinson kansas dating[/url] eldersburg md dating
sex dating in abbott new mexico [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]great expectations dating service success stories[/url] ricky wilkinson on dating sites [url=http://loveepicentre.com/user/Kindlove6209/]Kindlove6209[/url] tampa lesbian speed dating

Anonymous said...

dating nippon porcelain http://loveepicentre.com/testimonials/ online dating profile interests
dating thai transexuals [url=http://loveepicentre.com/taketour/]law of attraction online dating[/url] dating rpg games online
dating khon kaen tidarat [url=http://loveepicentre.com/success_stories/]coalport china dating[/url] correctly dating a beuscher alto sax [url=http://loveepicentre.com/user/mrpeyme200/]mrpeyme200[/url] larger dating

Anonymous said...

dating in berline germany http://loveepicentre.com hartford male dating
snomike dating [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]hwang bo hye jung dating[/url] gay black dating sites
mario batali dating [url=http://loveepicentre.com/map/]phone line dating[/url] dating voilence [url=http://loveepicentre.com/user/blessme/]blessme[/url] dating guide for single men

Anonymous said...

dating under 18 http://quizila.info/romantic/free-couples-romantic-games adult online dating service and personals http://quizila.info/relationships/neo-ffi-relationships
gabriell union dating ludicrous [url=http://quizila.info/romance/arthurian-romance-theme-in-huckleberry-finn]hate porn dating website[/url] webkinz dating service
dating games free online http://quizila.info/brides/free-pictures-brides-screwing dating website tricks http://quizila.info/friendship/roger-friendship-7-columbia-record
fergie is dating josh [url=http://quizila.info/bride/the-planters-northern-bride]online personals internet dating[/url] absolutely free online christian dating

David louis said...

Great post, I appreciate you and I would like to read your next post. Thanks for sharing this useful information.
totally free online dating
free dating online
free uk dating sites
free personals
online dating site free