Monday 8 October 2007

Strike! Hollywood Gets Busy.

I pity the fool that messes up the burgeoning movie debut of B.A. & Co.

News of an impending strike in Hollywood has been circulating for quite some time... Image rights, advertising on the Internet, adequate remuneration, miscellaneous other grievances... The Writers Guild, the Directors Guild and the Screen Actors Guild shall all strike by June of next year, if negotiations with the Producers Guild do not get settled between now and then. The threat of such action has understandably caused considerable panic amongst Hollywood executives, and a result many projects are being fast-tracked for production before the (possible) strike would commence... You see, while it may come as a surprise to some of you guys, altruism and camaraderie can be at something of a premium at the high end of the biz.

However, you (possibly) care not for such the industrial machinations of Planet Movie Star. Therefore, onto the fun stuff. Due to this sudden rush, studios have sent lists of their most imperative projects to casting agents in order to attract talent quickly. The full list of movies is
here. Yet, below lies a collection of the ones that caught my eye. They are divided into two categories: Savage Buzz and Michael Bay Sodomised My Brain And All I Got Was This Lousy Sense Of Righteous Indignation.

Savage Buzz:

- Jean Pierre Jeunet's adaptation of Yann Martel's
Life of Pi. This chap is a master of the quixotic. I just hope his CGI expertise is up to scratch.

World War Z. Ten years after the human triumph over the world wide zombie epidemic - referred to as World War Z - Max Brooks scours the world collecting the stories and experiences of those who have survived the conflict that almost eradicated humanity... A difficult one to compose this. Interesting concept though.

- The Coen brothers, who are already directing
Burn After Reading pre-strike, are going to try to squeeze in
A Serious Man - a Fargo-ish dark comedy - before June.

- Hunter S Thompson's The Rum Diary. Starring Johnny Depp (the embodiment of HST in Fear & Loathing...) and directed by Bruce Robinson (Mr. Withnail & I). This could be immense. The book is.

- The A-Team. Need I say more?

Michael Bay Sodomised My Brain And All I Got Was This Lousy Sense Of Righteous Indignation:

- The Birdcage 2, and The Fast and The Furious 4 are in development... Think about that. Somebody pitched these movies. Somebody agreed to finance them. Now people are desperate to get them made!

- Big Momma's House 3... Martin Lawrence, almost as annoying as Michael Bay.

- Comeback. An 'inspirational' sports drama starring Ice Cube, directed by Fred Durst. Yes, that Fred Durst.

- Star Trek. Directed by Tom Cruise's buddy J.J. Abrams... Nothing in particular bothers me about this project except the fact that Trekkie 'culture' is one of the most retarded things to happen to humanity since the Catholic Church's prohibition of Galileo Galilei's advocacy of heliocentrism as potentially factual.


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