Friday 21 September 2007

Superhero Outbreak In Romania

Naff Headline # 1: Glued to the telly


A Romanian man - Aurel Raileanu, 40, from Bucharest - has become known as The Human Magnet because things stick to him like glue... A fiscally advisable skill it would seem, as Aurel is working as a 'kineto-therapist'. Apparently, he uses the healing qualities of his powers to help people recover from accidents.

A human magnet who can cure people... Erm, if only there were more like him?

Furthermore, there is absolutely no way the above photo could have been tricked. None whatsoever.


...Meanwhile, in another part of Romania....


(Not as) Naff Headline # 2: Police probe 'Superman' sighting

Police are investigating after residents of Gemeni in Romania claimed to see a Superman-like figure flying through the sky. Almost 20 villagers claim that the figure was wearing a shiny blue suit, very much like Superman's in appearance. Constantin Toader, 41, described the figure thusly:

"He looked like Superman and was flying slowly at about 100 yards from the ground in a standing position. He didn't make any smoke or sound. Just cruising around."

That makes sense. If I possessed the power of flight, 'just cruising around' a village in Romania would totally be at the top of my to-do-list... Imagine the rush, 100 yards above it all, a leisurely cruise... Some shoddy masonry here, a clutch of minuscule women on their way to gymnastics practice there, the tender juxtaposition of pastoral idyll and post-communist malaise... Aloof and untouched.

Yes, I would certainly utilise such a power just above a village in Romania.

Perhaps it was some form of genetically altered super mutant gymnast? One who would guarantee Romania the Olympic gold for years to come! Cazart! I think I just cracked the case... Etc.

4 comments:

slurkid57 said...

I have no real opinion about that last post, but I have left a comment on your blog nearly every day this week, so here goes:

int: Betty's Roadside Diner

BA Baracus: I aint gettin on no plane, fool. Now pass me that carton of milk.

John Cav said...

Abstract.

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