Wednesday 15 August 2007

Keano Vs The WAG

Welcome back Roy. I, for one, missed you. The new, sensitive Manager Roy was getting boring... Roy's comments on the influence of the WAG:

“If a player doesn’t want to come to Sunderland then all well and good,” said the former Manchester United captain and Ireland midfielder. “But if he decides he doesn’t want to come because his wife wants to go shopping in London, then it’s a sad state of affairs. It’s not a football move, it’s a lifestyle move. It tells me the player is weak and his wife runs his life."

“The idea of women running the show concerns me and worries me, but the players we’re talking about are soft. Priorities have changed in footballers and they are being dictated to by their wives.”

He then references his own playing career, ending on a philosophical note:

“A couple of years ago I nearly went to Juve. People spoke to me about Turin, and said it is this and it is that, but Milan would be nice. I said ‘I’m not going for the bloody shops; I’m going because it’s Juventus.’ You have to sign for footballing reasons. If you retire at 35 you can bloody well live wherever you want to then."

“Your football has to be your priority and you don’t have to live in London or Monaco to be happy. You don’t need to be surrounded by expensive shops or fancy cafes.”


Obviously Roy is being a tad sexist here. Hardly the most considered argument ever. Indeed, if a feminist backlash is immiment, the man hardly has grounds to complain. However, considering he is talking about the WAG phenomenon, moderate slack should be cut.

In relation to said phenomenon, the man has a woefully disguised point. Where would a twit like Coleen McLoughlin be without the footballing prowess of Wayne Rooney? I imagine fitness videos would be difficult to shoot whilst working a double shift in a chipper in Toxteth. This girl and her ilk display no shame in bleeding their vicarious infamy dry in the pursuit of column inches in The Sun, Hello and so on... Throwing a hissy fit then when asked to move away from the shops is somewhat ridiculous and selfish. Especially when it is (largely) your partner's money you are spending.

However, Roy, you must remember that many wives and partners (as opposed to the W or G) have their own careers. Careers that they have worked long and hard for. Therefore, if they do not wish to move from London (or wherever), then surely their footballing husband must be considerate. Also, Roy, you're a family man. What if they have kids settled in schools etc? Not so simple then is it?

Finally Roy, and perhaps most fundamentally, you seem to forget the incredibly vapid and vacuous nature of the modern Premiership footballer. In the case of preening tossers like Fat Lampard and Freddie Ljungberg, it has nothing to do with female influence. These men are simply that vain and superficial. Christ Roy, the average IQ of the Premiership is so low that the knackerish ramblings of Joey Barton are oft considered witty. Joey Barton! The man is a fuckwit!

Face it Roy. Times have changed. The Premiership is now the poisoned milieu of Iberian agents, the overrating of John Terry, rampant metrosexuality and highly irrelevant contracts... And "models" getting spit-roasted by Keiron Dyer & Friends.

Sigh. Perhaps it is jealousy Roy. Diadora sponsorship was as flash as it got for you...


Medbh said...

He was being more than a tad sexist, John, but you're right to point out that there's an element of Keane just being out of touch at some level and that times have changed.

John Cav said...

Medbh, my apologies. I put the word "tad" in italics in an attempt to underline just how ludicrously sexist his comments were. The use of inverted commas or even the words "unbelievably sexist" would probably have been more fitting.

I shall endeavour to make my sarcasm more overt in future.