Playing the fool at Glastonbury - Jeremy Clarkson, The Sunday Times.
Jeremy Clarkson. He likes cars and he writes a column for The Sunday Times. Today in his column he bitched tunelessly about Glastonbury and modern music festivals in general:
But I do have a problem with Glastonbury. Rock music is ours. By which I mean it belongs to anyone born between 1950 and 1971. We invented it, and we made the rules.
Clarkson's wife attended the festival, and this is what lay in store for her according to Jeremy:
But what she’ll get is a bunch of reedy-voiced, stick-thin teenagers who’ve nicked what is rightfully ours and mangled it out of all recognition. A bunch of useless, talentless ne’er-do-wells who’d love to play you their next song but only after they’ve delivered a sermon on the evils of corporate America, global warming and how we should all club together to help some poor African kid with flies in his eyes. Oh, for God’s sake. Either turn on the lasers or eff off.
This is how he finishes his neanderthal tirade:
I’m not proposing for a moment we ban festivals. There are some good ones, where old bands, who know what they’re doing, play old favourites to old people on rugs. But I do think the time has come for new bands to be banned from playing or performing rock music. It’s ours. They should go and invent their own plaything.
What a cunt.