Friday 15 June 2007

The Summer Of The Sequel

"Look... I tried to tell Bruckheimer that he's lost the run of himself, that Pirates is based on a fecking DisneyLand amusement, and that by attempting to instill a sense of the grandiose and the epic he has robbed the franchise of the brevity and charm of the first film. But he just won't listen! Still, I'm in it providing some humorous asides amidst the ceaseless boredom."
Here is my capsule review of Hollywood's sequelistic (?) endeavours thus far:

28 Weeks Later: Cynical shite.

Spiderman 3: Regrettable shite.

Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End: Meandering shite.

Ocean's Thirteen: Vacuous shite.
NOTE - Although fleetingly smitten by the charisma of the Ocean's cast, I soon realised my folly. The plot is 100% clunky exposition leading up to a final heist that is paradoxically ludicrous and unimaginative. It is also completely devoid of dramatic tension. Plus the Chunnel thing is fucking stupid.

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