Sunday 29 April 2007

LEGO - A Final Farewell

Lego. As children we built train stations and rocket ships. Lego built character. Who could ever forget that glorious joy of eventually viewing the finalised piece on your bedroom floor? A proud replica of the picture on the cover of the box. Yet the joy did not end there. It could not. Ney, it would not. After an appropriate period of pride and self-congratulation, one was required to pull said train station or rocket ship apart. Next, fling the pieces with reckless abandon into your Lego reservoir of dismantled previous accomplishments. Now the possibilities were truly endless. Train stations, rocket ships, racing cars, and tugboats all truly atomised and stewing in a pit of wonder. Alone or with friends, who knew what mutated genius awaited? A proud moment of my own... Successfully recreating the climax from Back To The Future III, wherein Marty and the Delorean are propelled to the future by the Doc in a locomotive.

Memories most sweet. Indeed. So it is with a heavy heart that I now feel compelled to berate the folks at Lego. For the past few years, the company has fully embraced technological advances, modifying and updating its offerings to children the world over. A good thing? Surely? In a word, no. The attraction of Lego was its simplicity and simultaneous complexity. Damn it, it actually was educational and fun. Today, it is so very different. When I see Lego games on PCs, replete with their own engineering programmes... When I see advertisements for this new Bionicle stuff, whose construction requirements fall just short of My First Soldering Kit... When I see kids complete the Official Lego Generic Star Wars Thing Ship, and leave it shelf-high for prosperity... When I see all this, I am saddened. Where's the joy? Where's the atomised pit of wonder? Lego, you have lost yourself a Customer of the Future. No child of mine shall play with your sullied goods.

Perhaps these are just the ramblings of a sentimental fool. Perhaps I should have stopped at pear cider number six last night. Perhaps all of this is extremely irrelevant... But I must show you what brought this gibberish on. A short while ago I came across the following disturbing image; a travesty with which my feeble mind could not cope. The Rossport 5 would not be best pleased.

Sometimes internet browsing is just too random.

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